


Just Fine

by spopuhaul



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Canon Compliant, Depression, Gen, One Shot, Ponyville (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), References to Depression, Sad, Short One Shot, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:15:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27697481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spopuhaul/pseuds/spopuhaul
Summary: Sometimes, Applejack has a hard time getting out of bed to face the day. But after weeks of staying at her home, nose to the grindstone, ponies start to get worried. She's fine, though. She insists she's just fine.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	Just Fine

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally hosted on fimfiction and was not intended to be posted here, but I decided why the hell not? Here's another MLP fanfic bc I am super hyper fixated on that right now :)
> 
> If you really want to find me on fimfiction, look up either this story on there, or the other MLP one on here.

Maybe it was the lack of sunshine, but Applejack felt more down than ever. And that was saying something. It was usually easy for her to put on a smile and have a good time around her friends and leave the gloom at home. This time around, it felt different. 

There was a chill in the air, and ponies everywhere were already wearing hats and scarves to keep warm. Applejack wore her usual hat, save for a warm, cotton lining Rarity _insisted_ she put on for her. According to Rarity, “A proper mare must always keep warm in the cold weather so she doesn't shiver.” Applejack thought that was a load of horseshit, for lack of a more appropriate expression. 

She found herself to be admittedly a lot less motivated than usual. Her long nights and late wake-up time worried Big Mac, but she insisted that it was fine- that _she_ was fine. The chores got finished at the end of the day, so nopony could complain that she wasn't doing them, they just took her all day to complete. 

Applejack certainly wasn't _sad_. There was nothing to really be sad about. She was just empty, whatever that meant. The days passed slowly, dragging on like a three-wheeled carriage. She always loved the colourful scenery of Ponyville, particularly the apple orchard in her own backyard. Most ponies thought it was beautiful in the Autumn. Recently, however, Applejack thought it was bland. Nothing special about it. 

It had to have been around noon when Applejack finally got out of bed, shivering. She hadn't bothered to make her bed for weeks, and all her blankets were balled up on the floor, useless to her sleeping self. The thought of the chores to be done for the day wasn't worrying her, Big McIntosh said he'd take care of them for her while she perked up. Said something about being worried about her. Applejack knew there was no need for him to be, but she didn't want to tell him no. 

"I guess I should get up," the orange pony deadpanned. She put on her hat and slowly stood up from the bed in which she had been lying awake for the past few hours. Her body felt stiff until she did a quick stretch to alleviate herself of the annoyance of stiff joints. 

Applejack walked over to look out the window. Her eyes met with an array of warm coloured trees. Some were red, some were orange, some were yellow. All of them were just trees in her opinion. She was frustrated at herself for being so unenthusiastic. How would she even change that, though? She couldn't. She frowned at her reflection, holding back the urge to spit in her own face.

She muttered some obscenity that she'd never dare say in front of Granny Smith and pushed her way out of the door. Apple Bloom ran down the hallway in front of her door, then skidded to a stop as she processed that Applejack had actually come out of her room. 

"Applejack!" Apple Bloom ran happily to her sister, holding out her hooves in the offer of an embrace. "Can I hug you?" 

Applejack gave her a tired smile and nodded. "'Course ya can, Sugarcube." She wrapped her forelegs around her sister in a loose hug. 

Apple Bloom took it upon herself to tighten her grip on her sister. "I'm just glad yer feeling better, Applejack," she mumbled into her shoulder. She took a step back. "You are feeling better, right?" 

Applejack refrained from rolling her eyes. "I dunno what yer talkin' bout. I'm _fine._ I've been just fine." She crossed her arms over her chest, huffing. "In fact, I'm gonna do some chores now." 

The smaller pony smiled awkwardly at her. "Ya can't do that. Big Mac's already done all your chores for you." 

"Fine, then I'll do his chores!" 

"Uh, ya can't do them either. He's already done his chores," Apple Bloom said, nervously tracing circles into the floor. 

Applejack groaned. "Please tell me you haven't done your chores yet," she pleaded. Apple Bloom chuckled awkwardly in response, earning a disgruntled snort from Applejack. “You silly filly. Of all the days to do your chores early, ya pick today?”

Apple Bloom tilted her head, and her older sister couldn’t tell if she was worried or confused. “Early? Applejack, it’s past noon,” she said quietly. “Maybe you should go out and see somepony. Your friends maybe?”

Applejack shook her head. “Naw! They don’t wanna see me, they probably got better stuff to do than hang around me all day,” she said sternly. As Apple Bloom was about to interject, Applejack shot her a look. “I’ll go do something, I promise. I just don’t wanna bother anypony.”

Apple Bloom sighed and nodded slowly, giving her sister a patient smile. “Alright, Applejack. Just… take care o’ yerself.” She slowly made her way to her room, closing the door behind her.

Applejack shook her head. There was _no_ reason for anypony to be worried about her. She was fine. Everything was fine. She knew that as long as she went out, bucked around for a few hours, and came back home, everypony would agree with her that it. Was. Fine.

So she set off, making her way downstairs, past a sleeping Granny Smith and out the door without anypony seeing her. “Thank Celestia I got outta there without attractin’ any attenti-”

“Nope,” the deep voice of her brother said. Applejack had been too busy thinking about her successful escape from the farm, that she had been unsuccessful while escaping from the farm. 

“Darn it, Big Mac,” she hissed. “How are ye always so sneaky-like?” She adjusted her hat which had begun to fall off her head from the sudden stopping.

Big Mac simply shrugged. “Where ya goin’?”

Applejack hesitated. She had no real plan, just to wander around Ponyville, hoping she wouldn’t run into her friends. Or anypony she knew, really. “Out. To walk and... Clear my head?” Her voice rose at the end of her sentence, making her sound as if she was asking a question.

Big Mac narrowed his eyes at her. “Are ya feelin’ any better?”

Applejack clenched her jaw. “I’m fine. Why does everypony keep asking me that?” She just wanted to go, get far from the farm and find somewhere to spend some time with herself. Then she could come back and sleep. Perfect plan.

“Didja eat somethin’ yet?”

Applejack gritted her teeth. Usually, she hated lying. It went against everything she stands for, but she wasn't seeing a different option that wouldn't result in her being forced back into the farm. "Yeah, I had some apple pancakes that Apple Bloom left out fer me," she lied between her teeth. It felt awful, lying. The worst of sins, in her honest opinion. 

Big Mac shook his head. "Nope. We didn't make pancakes today," he said. For such a quiet pony, he knew a lot about pony behaviour, especially his sisters'. 

Applejack stared at a rock on the floor, refusing to make eye contact with the red pony. Especially after being caught red hoofed in a lie. "Okay, ya caught me. I was gonna grab somethin' to eat outside," she said. She looked back up at Big Mac. "Honest." 

He sighed, shaking his head slowly. "Yup," was all he said before bowing his head at her and walking back to the farm, towing an empty cart where apples would have been. _I guess the sale went well today._

She watched him enter the barn until he disappeared completely behind the door. With a sharp exhale, she turned back to face forward, deciding that she'd best be on her way unless she wanted to be caught by somepony else. 

_Now I have to go grab food,_ she realized. _Can't just lie to Big Mac like that._ It would have been too much for her conscience. She was never a liar past her foalhood and swore to tell the honest truth as much as she could. Yes, she could lie. In fact, she was _great_ at lying because nopony ever expected her to, but she didn't exactly like it. The odd lie never lasted anyway, she'd usually force herself to clear it up before it got out of hand as all lies do. Just a shame that Big Mac has always been able to see right through her, even if he pretended he couldn't sometimes. 

She decided to go to Sugarcube Corner to quickly pick up a slice of pie, or some sort of pastry that would have to make do as breakfast. _Or lunch,_ she reckoned. _Brunch?_ It didn't matter. All she knew is that she didn't even want to do it. 

As she galloped into the busy part of Ponyville, slowly heading toward Sugarcube Corner, Applejack didn't notice the numerous amounts of ponies waving at her, or giving her confused looks. She had been completely zoned out, worrying about the prospect of having to see Pinkie Pie, or running into any of her other friends. She didn't even realize how completely dishevelled she looked. She had dark circles under her eyes from being in bed so long and her mane was a mess. She'd forgotten to brush it and just stuck her hat on top of her head. 

It must have been at least two weeks since she'd seen anypony other than her family. Her friends were accustomed to her disappearing for a day or two of busywork, but after a few days, they had tried to check on her. And every time, she told them nothing was wrong and left it at that, shutting the door on them. Nothing _was_ wrong. She wasn't lying. Eventually, they'd stopped trying to visit her and decided to wait for her to come back on her own. 

The faint smell of freshly baked bread snapped Applejack out of her focused trance and she lifted her head to see that she had arrived at Sugarcube Corner. "Oh hay," she muttered to herself. She took a deep breath, and made her way into the warmth of the bakery. She hadn't even noticed how cold it was outside until she was met with the temperature inside. 

"Applejack!" Mr. Cake greeted her with a welcome smile. "Gosh, it's been a while since I've seen you around! How are you doing?" 

Applejack nodded politely at him, tipping her hat. "Howdy, Mr. Cake. I'm doing just as good as a sapling in rich soil," she said in her most cheery voice. "How are you and Mrs. Cake? And the twins?" 

Mr. Cake chuckled, rubbing a hoof on his stubbled chin. "They're just in the other room, actually. It's about time for the twins' afternoon nap. Do you want to see them?" 

Applejack shook her head politely. "No, thanks. I actually came to grab a bite, and then be on my way," she said softly. "That bread o' yours smells mighty delicious. Could I have a loaf?" 

Mr. Cake nodded and turned around to grab a loaf with a napkin and put it on a plate, then put it on the counter for Applejack to have. "Here you go, our best loaf. Just for you," he added with a smile. 

Applejack grinned awkwardly. "Actually, do ya think I could get it in a bag or somethin' of that nature? I wanted to eat outside," she admitted sheepishly. 

Mr. Cake gave her a weird look but nodded nonetheless. He turned around to get a bag. "I thought you came to see Pinkie Pie or Fluttershy," he said. Applejack's stomach turned over. "She's been wondering where you've been, you know." He turned around and deposited the loaf in the bag and put it back on the counter. 

Applejack frowned passively at their exchange. "Um, I'd 'ppreciate it if you didn't tell Pinkie Pie I was here," she muttered quietly to him. "I jus' don't wanna see anypony right now." Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed the bag, left a few bits on the counter and left the store, leaving a concerned Mr. Cake behind. 

With a guilty jab in her chest, Applejack continued to trot away in the opposite direction of the farm, doing her best to blend into the crowd. The loaf was still warm in the bag, but she knew she'd have to eat it soon or it'd get cold. She decided to have a seat in the park, noting how empty it was because of the cold. She placed the bag on the floor, suddenly missing the slight radiating heat it emitted. 

She pulled out the warm loaf of bread and took a small bite. Applejack wasn't exactly hungry. She was only eating because she had promised Big Mac she would. But hay, the bread was good, and she took another bite. The crisp, autumn air felt almost refreshing to her. She had grown accustomed to the apple-scented air at the farm, and the stuffy, rancid smell of her room that hasn't been cleaned in weeks.

There was some part of her that kept her from being at ease. Something inside her that was telling her that her friends had given up on her. Applejack figured that if they had, it was her own fault for avoiding them. But she didn't want them to see her that unmotivated. It was always a problem, deep inside her. The unenthusiastic, unmotivated Applejack that she always hid and saved for home. Her friends were like her remedy to make her feel better, but lately, it hadn't been working. And she certainly didn't want anypony to worry. 

By the time she got the urge to take another bite, the bread was ice cold. Applejack sighed in disappointment, mostly annoyed at herself. _Why am I like this?_ She frowned, looking at the frost-tipped grass blades. The thought bothered her. She was sad. She had no reason to be, but she was. Frustration boiled inside her. She jumped up and kicked the loaf of bread down the hill. "Dang it!" She yelled at nobody. Or so she thought. 

"Applejack?" 

Applejack knew that voice. It belonged to a certain alicorn friend of hers that she frankly was hoping not to run into. Her anger seemed to dissipate, turning instead into pure, unadulterated fear. "Hey, Twilight," she muttered in an uncharacteristically low volume. She didn't turn to face her, and instead, she stayed heavy-hoofed, staring down the bread loaf roll slowly to a stop. 

"I haven't seen you in a while," Twilight said. She sounded unsure of what to say as if she was seeing an old friend. "None of us have. We've been worried." 

Applejack felt her stomach clench. The little bread she ate threatened to come back up, but luckily stayed in the middle of her throat so she could force it back down. "No need," she said. "I'm fine." 

She didn't even need to look at Twilight to feel the glare she gave. It wasn't mean-spirited, but it was strong anyway. "Are you sure everything is okay? It's not like you to disappear for weeks," the princess pointed out. 

"I've been busy," Applejack shot back almost instantly, feeling her body start to shake. She wasn't sure if it was entirely from the cold though. 

She heard Twilight shuffle, some fallen leaves crunching under her hooves. The sound of fabric rustling told Applejack that Twilight was dressed for the weather. "Can you turn around to face me, please? I don't particularly like talking to a pony's tail," Twilight said. She had a hint of the sarcasm that she casually employed from time to time. It almost made Applejack smile. 

"Fine," Applejack said. She turned around suddenly feeling self-conscious about her appearance. "Happy?" She stomped the ground, glaring at Twilight. 

The purple pony cringed for a split-second but quickly covered herself up. Although, it wasn't quick enough. "You look… tired," she pointed out. "Have you been getting enough sleep?" 

Applejack didn't know why she was so irritated. She just was. She wasn't planning to see anypony, and Twilight’s sudden appearance was the last thing she needed. “I’ve been sleepin’ just fine, Twi. Thank you fer being so concerned,” she growled. 

Twilight frowned. “You don’t need to be so upset, you know. I’m just trying to see if you’re feeling any better,” she said.

There it was again. Those words that everypony seemed to have rehearsed speaking to her. Applejack felt something inside her twist. “I’m fine! I’m just fine. Everything is _fine_. Now would everypony stop askin’ me that?” She huffed, looking away from Twilight with an embarrassed look on her face. She knew Twilight was taken aback by her sudden outburst. 

“Sorry, Twi,” Applejack muttered. “Truthfully, I just wasn’t expectin’ to see anypony today,” she admitted, still looking away from her winged friend. Shame replaced the annoyance buried inside her. There was no reason to be annoyed, or upset. Twilight was right, she was just looking out for her friend, the same way Applejack would look out for hers.

_Although if Rainbow Dash had said she wanted to be left alone, I’d leave her alone,_ Applejack told herself. She’d been trying to believe it, too. Trying to excuse herself for being so awful to her friends, but she _knew_ that if she was in another pony’s horseshoes, she’d do the same. Shaking her head, she dismissed her thoughts. They were nothing but half-truths anyway. 

“It’s okay, Applejack,” Twilight said softly, taking a step closer to her. She lifted Applejack’s hat with her magic and adjusted it slightly on her head as Applejack turned to face her. “I know you struggle with… this sometimes,” she started. “But I just want you to know that your friends will always be here for you just like you’d be there for them,” she said with a smile.

Applejack’s mouth quivered. “I know,” she whispered. She sat down, becoming aware of how much she was shaking. “It really is cold out, ain’t it?” Her lips betrayed a hint of a smile that Twilight was glad to see.

“Yeah, it is,” Twilight responded with a quick laugh. “I was actually on my way to Rarity’s. She promised to make me a coat,” she said. “Do you want to come with me?” Her voice was optimistic, and just as bright as Applejack remembered.

She wanted to say no, to insist on going back home to sulk in the darkness of her room. She almost did say no, but as she opened her mouth to say it, only air came out. Applejack shut her mouth and sighed, nodding her head. “Sure. Maybe I can get her to make me somethin’ for this cold,” she said with an almost apologetic chuckle. Twilight shot her an understanding glance. Applejack replied with a thankful nod of her head and the two mares made their way to Carousel Boutique.

*~~~~*

Twilight and Applejack walked in comfortable silence. Applejack didn’t really want to talk, and Twilight seemed to respect that. The occasional glance over to the purple pony confirmed Applejack’s suspicion that Twilight’s head was always in official business. She had caught the alicorn staring off into space, mumbling some sort of checklist under her breath. _Typical Twi,_ Applejack humoured herself. _Always been such a brainiac_ , she playfully teased.

As they arrived at the Boutique, muffled arguing and crashing in the store made its way to both pony’s ears, along with a trademark Rarity scream. There were only two ponies that could agitate Rarity that much; Applejack being one of them, and a certain rainbow-maned pegasus being the other. Applejack chuckled at the thought of Rainbow Dash being a bother to Rarity, and it seemed that Twilight had noticed as well; her muttering stopped and her brow was furrowed as she stared at the door.

Rarity’s muffled voice rang through the door. _“How dare you put your muddy hooves on this jacket!”_

They heard a faint _whack_ and then Rainbow Dash’s incredibly distinctive voice, although muffled, followed suit. _“What? But you made me this to wear! Of course it's gonna get dirty, Rares!”_ Another _thud. “Ow! Quit throwing things at me!”_

_“Not unless you stop ruining my designs, you brute!”_

Twilight must have decided that she had heard enough, or maybe she just got really cold. She forced the door open with her magic, catching Rarity in the act of throwing what appeared to be a mannequin head at Rainbow Dash, who circled around in the air. 

“Ahem,” Twilight cleared her throat rather aggressively. That must have done the opposite of actually clearing her throat because Applejack noticed she gave a little cough before continuing. “Would everypony stop acting like fillies and just relax? There’s no need to throw things around at each other.”

Rarity’s head snapped to face Twilight with an enraged look that Applejack had never seen before. “She’s ruining all of my hard work, Twilight! I simply cannot let her get away with it,” she complained.

“I’m not ruining anything,” Rainbow Dash retorted. “Clothes are meant to be ‘ruined’, Rarity.” Rainbow Dash floated in the air, crossing her hooves. 

Rarity let out a rather untasteful snort, a sure sign she was beyond exasperated. “You could at least _try_ to keep them clean for the first ten minutes,” she muttered. 

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Fine, but no promises once I exit the store,” she deadpanned. It seemed to be good enough for Rarity. She dropped the next projectile she had prepared to magically launch at her. 

Twilight shook her head with a tiny smile and made her way completely into the store. “Anyway, I came by to pick up the coat you said you’d make me.” 

Applejack took a look around. A full spectrum of colourful fabrics lining every free surface of the store. Along the walls were many pony shaped mannequins with different cold-weather articles of clothing on them, in different stages of completion. _Rarity’s always busy at the beginning of each season,_ she noted. That was something she respected about the fashionable unicorn. They disagreed on many accounts, but the one thing they could agree on was the importance of a good work ethic. 

Truth be told, Rarity was one of the hardest working, non-Apple ponies Applejack could think of. 

“Oh! Of course, darling.” Rarity let out a curt, short laugh. “Hah! How silly of me. I’ll get right to it, I just need to finish the hem,” she said, trotting along the wall to a fantastically hoof-made cold-weather coat that was nearly entirely purple in colour, other than some sparkly blue highlights. “I do hope you like it,” she said, putting an array of needles in her mouth, picking one up using magic. 

“Definitely! It’s beautiful!” 

Applejack began to zone out. She hadn’t been to the boutique in a while, and it remained as… elegant as ever. She certainly would never understand how Rarity could stand to live in a place so fancy. Then again, Rarity oftentimes refused to even step hoof into the barn, and when she did, she would not stop complaining like a colt fresh out of cider. She snorted out loud. 

Then, she felt herself being tackled to the floor in a blur of blue. Once she blinked the confusion away, she saw Rainbow Dash's surprised face. "Applejack! You're here!" She smiled happily, before dropping into an angry frown. Rainbow Dash smacked Applejack flush on the shoulder. 

"Ow!" Applejack shoved Rainbow Dash off of her, making her fly back up and hover over her. "What the hay was that for?" She rubbed the shoulder that had been squarely punched before forcing herself to her feet. 

"Oh, what a pleasant surprise, Applejack!" Rarity stepped out the door, several ribbons of fabric on around her neck. "I do apologize for Rainbow Dash's incessant rough-housing." She shot an angry glare at the flying pony. "You know how brash she can be." 

"Hey!" Rainbow Dash happily returned the angry gaze, but Rarity did not give her the satisfaction of noticing it. "I was just glad to see you, and then I was upset because it's been _weeks_ , AJ!"

Applejack sniffed. "Yup," was all she could say. She didn't really have anything _to_ say. Rainbow Dash was completely right; it had been weeks. 

"You're not going to say anything else?" Rainbow Dash's voice seemed to sharpen like a blade. "Not even an explanation?" 

"Ain't nothin' to explain. I was taking some time off," Applejack said simply, gazing up at Rainbow Dash. 

Twilight looked between the two of them. "Now, girls-" 

"Time off? From what? Your friends?" Rainbow Dash sounded more offended than mad. "You had us all worried sick, Applejack." 

The farm pony grimaced. "Never asked ya to worry, now did I?" She meant to say it quieter, she really did, but it came out loud enough that everypony in the vicinity heard. 

Twilight and Rarity frowned and looked away, but Applejack's comment set Rainbow Dash off.

"Are you bucking kidding me?" Rainbow Dash's voice came out in a shrill scream. "You're mad at _me_ for caring?" She took several exasperated breaths. "I can't believe you!" 

"Rainbow Dash, darling-" 

"No, Rarity!" Rainbow Dash took a deep breath, putting a hoof to her forehead. "You can't just disappear on us and come back like nothing happened." 

Applejack fixed her hat, feeling awfully guilty. "You don't understand," she mumbled. 

"Then make me understand," Rainbow pleaded. Her tone of voice had completely changed, forcing Applejack to look up at her. The pegasus' voice was no longer angry, but more hurt, as if she was holding back a sob. Rarity and Twilight exchanged a look. 

Applejack scratched the back of her neck. "I'd like to say something, but I'd rather say it in front of _all_ my friends." 

Twilight nodded. "I assumed you would say something like that, so I had Spike deliver a message to Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy as soon as we got here," she said enthusiastically. 

Applejack tilted her head. "Spike? I ain't see him at all," she said quizzically, looking around, searching for the little dragon. 

"Oh, little Spikey Wikey has been with me all day," Rarity explained. "As soon as you two got here, Twilight told me to tell Spike to run and grab Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie." 

Applejack chuckled dryly at the image of a Rarity-smitten Spike running as fast as he could to complete her demand. The little dragon always seemed ready to do whatever the purple-maned unicorn asked. 

As if summoned by the Friendship Map itself, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie appeared at the scene almost as fast as Rainbow Dash could fly. Pinkie Pie hopped along in front of them, a huge smile on her face, while Fluttershy trotted in behind her, carrying a heaving Spike on her back.

“Applejack!” Pinkie Pie rushed over and wrapped Applejack in a tight hug, squeezing the air out of the unfortunate hat-wearing pony. “I haven’t seen you in so long! I tried to visit you a few times, but Apple Bloom said you were busy, and then Big Mac said you were busy, and then I tried to look for you but I couldn’t find you. I’m so glad you’re here now though! You should have told me you were coming a lot sooner, I could have planned a party!” Pinkie Pie gasped loudly. “We need to throw a party! A super-duper special Applejack is back party!”

“Woah, there, Pinkie Pie,” Applejack managed to force out. She gently pushed the all-too-excited Pinkie Pie off of her. “Still need to breathe here,” Applejack said with a chuckle. Of all the things she missed from her friends, Pinkie Pie’s excited rambling was a surprise. 

“Oh, but she has a point,” a soft voice said. “We were wondering where you’ve been all this time,” Fluttershy told her. Applejack couldn’t help but start to feel bad. “When Spike came to tell us that Twilight found you, we came as quickly as we could.” Pinkie Pie nodded in agreement, still bouncing. Spike simply looked up, looking like he couldn't breathe and nodded, before slamming his face back on Fluttershy' back. 

"I'm awful sorry," Applejack said. She took her hat off and held it to her chest, a sign of pure honesty and respect. "I never meant to hurt anypony, in fact, that's why I've been avoiding y'all this whole time," she admitted. She noted the confused looks on her friends’ faces, and even Rainbow Dash dropped to the floor to sit and listen. 

"Fact o' the matter is that I have been feeling… Well, I been feeling like _shit_ ," she said bluntly. "Pardon my language. I've been feeling like a pig in the dry season. Nothing was bringing me joy like it used to, and I tried to pretend and make it work, but it wasn't working." She glanced at her friends, wondering if they had something to say, but they all remained quiet. Even Pinkie Pie. "I thought maybe if I stayed home and ignored everypony, I was doing what's best for us all. I was wrong." She sniffled a bit. 

Twilight was the first to speak. "You know you don't have to ignore us because you're afraid of bringing us down," she said gently. "Friends are here for you for good times-" 

"And for the bad," Rainbow Dash interjected. Twilight shot her a look. "My bad, Twi… Carry on," she said, ducking her head. 

Twilight rolled her eyes with a smile. "Rainbow Dash is right. Your friends will always be here for you, even if you're not feeling as happy as usual." 

Her friends all nodded in unison. Applejack's ears drooped, but a smile crawled onto her face. "That means a heck of a lot to me, girls. Thank you for being here for me," she smiled at them. "I couldn't have asked for better friends."

"Well, you probably could have," Pinkie Pie stated. "Although I'm not sure _who_ exactly you'd ask." She put a hoof up to her jaw. "Hmm, that's a toughie. I guess we'll have to figure it out. Ooh! Maybe that can be our next mission! Figuring out who Applejack can ask for better friends!" 

Rarity scoffed. "I certainly do not believe that was the point that Applejack was trying to make, Pinkie Pie," she said with a shake of her head. 

Fluttershy stepped forward, rubbing her leg with her hoof. "Yeah, I don't think she wants to get 'better friends'," she said meekly. "Unless you do. You don't, right? I wouldn't blame you if you did, I could have been a better friend myself." The pale yellow pegasus began to spiral, slowly bringing her hooves to her cheeks. "Oh no, it's because I forgot to bring Angel his lunch and he told you that on his last visit, isn't it? I can't believe I was so forgetful," she reprimanded herself. "I'm so sorry, Applejack. Please forgive me." 

Applejack shook her head, laughing a bit. "Aw shucks, Fluttershy. You ain't do nothing wrong. None of you did." She placed her hat back on her head. "I wouldn't ever dare ask for better friends because truthfully, there ain't no better friends around!" She spread her arms in the rare invitation of a hug. Pinkie Pie was the first to dash over almost instantly to envelop her in a tight embrace, but noticeably looser than her first hug. The rest of her friends followed, and soon Applejack was wrapped in her friends' arms. Even Spike was in the group hug, although he seemed like he could do with a quick rest. 

Rainbow Dash pulled away first, causing the rest of them to do so as well. She flew up a few feet in the air, running her hoof through her mane. "Listen, Applejack. I'm really sorry for yelling at you earlier." She swallowed, making sure Applejack wasn't frowning at her. She made the happy realization that Applejack's face still held a warm smile. "I think I took it personally, which was incredibly stupid of me." 

"It was," Applejack said. 

"Yeah, hah. But honestly, I'm just really glad you're back. And like Twilight said before," she shot a quick glance at the alicorn, who gave her a quick nod, "We're always going to be here for you. If you're sad, we'll try to cheer you up or be sad with you. Whatever you want, I promise," Rainbow Dash stated, running through the motions of a Pinkie Promise. The rest of the group murmured in agreement. 

"Besides, you can't replace us," Spike's voice said. Everyone turned to face the little, purple dragon. "I mean, where else are you going to find a friendly, fire-breathing dragon?" 

Applejack laughed heartily, soon being joined with a chorus of her friends. "You got me there, Spike. There ain't no way I could ever find a better dragon friend," she humoured him. 

Rarity cut through the small crowd, ushering Applejack into the store. "Now, darling, I just _know_ you need something warm. That hat simply won't do," she said. “How do you feel about wool?”

“Wool’s just fine,” Applejack replied with a thankful nod. It wasn’t much unlike Rarity to offer to make her friends clothing, but it was still very nice of her to do so. At least, Applejack thought so. 

The group followed Rarity and Applejack further into the store, admiring the patterns and clothes that Rarity had been working on. The warmth of the inside was a welcome touch as well. Spike ran over to a bowl of crystals that Rarity had set out to decorate her designs with, and with a roll of her eyes, she levitated a single crystal to the dragon, who took no time to take a bite out of it, licking his lips in delight. Applejack sat in the centre of the boutique, feeling something fill her up inside. It was something that she could only explain as a warm feeling, and it might have been the warmth of the heating inside, but she knew it wasn’t.

It was a feeling she only got when being surrounded by her friends. _Happiness,_ she realized with a grin. _Turns out I have been missing my friends._ She looked around the room, taking in the antics of the ponies she called her friends. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were laughing in the corner, each of them sporting a beard made of Rarity’s fine silk. Rarity was sewing a hoofful of different clothing items, dropping all of her needles and thread once she saw what the aforementioned ponies were up to. Fluttershy and Twilight were ogling the coats that Rarity had been making, offering some sort of conversation to each other that Applejack couldn’t quite make out, but judging by the smiles on each of their faces, it was safe to say it was pleasant. 

Applejack smiled at her friends as she felt herself be filled with the thing she was missing the past few weeks. It felt comforting, like home, and warm, like a freshly baked apple fritter. Most important of all, it made her smile the most genuine smile she’s sported in weeks.

“Hey, Applejack?” 

She felt someone sit next to her. “Yeah, Spike?”

Spike looked at her with a hopeful look in his eyes. “I meant to ask before, but, are you feeling better?”

Applejack sighed, looking around the busy room. There was no need to lie anymore, and for that, she was extremely thankful. The next words spoken were the honest, Applejack truth. 

“I’m fine. I’m just fine.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Here's another Applejack POV one-shot. This one was kind of a vent based on how I've been feeling recently. To me, it's an interesting concept for a character like Applejack to be facing something like depression or depressive-type feelings. She's such a strong pony in canon, and one of the most hard-working ones for sure. I was thinking about how Applejack "cries on the inside" and for some reason, I just connected to her even more.
> 
> In real life, I'm nothing much like Applejack. The only thing we have in common is that I prefer to tell the truth most times, and sometimes I'm a bit hard-headed, but other than that, she's ten times the pony I'd ever be. Even so, I can't help but relate myself to her, and in turn, have an easier time putting forth my own thoughts and emotions into a story like this where Applejack is the one dealing with the kind of thing I'm dealing with.
> 
> Maybe this is out of character for her, but I wasn't exactly intending it to be completely in character. In fact, I wasn't planning on putting this on the internet in the first place. I thought maybe somewhere out there, someone else could find comfort in reading something like this, just like I was comforted by writing it. It's a tough thing I've had to face, especially recently. And if I had to learn any lesson on friendship to write in the old friendship journal, I'd have written what Applejack learned at the end of this; that my friends will always be there for me, even if I think it's better that they're not.
> 
> It's easy to distance yourself from the people you love and who love you when you start feeling down, but in my personal experience, being alone makes it worse, and I think that Applejack would be the same way. It's easy to see that she loves her friends, and much like anypony who loves her friends, she feels happy when she's with them. You don't need to be happy around your friends all the time because that just isn't realistic, but good friends will always be there for you. For the good times (and the bad :P).
> 
> Thank you for reading this story, and if you read this author's note, thank you for reading this. I hope you all can understand where it came from.
> 
> Stay safe, everypony.


End file.
